What we can learn from pain
Have you ever experienced a very painful health challenge that has left you on the edge of despair and hopelessness?
If yes, you most likely had moments of self-pity, or you screamed at the universe for conflicting you with so much pain, or you begged upon a higher power to send you relief in exchange for being a better person.
This pretty much sums it up for most people who have experienced pain beyond their capacity to bear.
The reason why I’m writing this blog post is that I have been going through a health challenge that left me defeated and depressed. I had to make a choice, let this experience crush my spirit or learn from it. The universe has a way to inflict us with hardship or pain when we need to pause, self-reflect or become more self-aware.
“Every pain gives a lesson, and every lesson changes a person”
(Author unknown)
After two months of wallowing in self-pity, and driving my loved ones crazy, here are the lessons I have learned:
· Patience
I’m probably one of the most impatient people; I want things done yesterday and my way, but when you are disabled, you are being forced to be patient if you like it or not. Not being patient comes with a host of other problems, like clumsiness, not being kind to yourself, not listening to your body, anger, frustration, and, sadly, prolonging your suffering. Practicing patience has allowed me to be more kind to myself and to avoid stressing about trivial things.
· Creating short moments of joy
Our state of happiness is so fragile that it leaves us wondering if true happiness is attainable. Joy, on the other hand, is more easily attainable because it doesn’t depend on outside factors or high expectations. Joy is an internal state of mind that can easily be created, and no one can take it away from us. Cultivating joy can contribute to happiness but we need to work on it like practicing gratitude and acceptance. Think about what brings you joy and try to allow time for it. Right now, I’m sitting on the porch sipping my ice coffee and watching the cute little birds take turns on the bird feeder…the only thing that’s missing is the beach ; )
Creating joyful moments will help you endure the pain, whether it’s emotional or physical.
· Acceptance and Gratitude
I think it’s in our nature to focus on the bad things rather than the good things. When we start identifying with the pain it becomes more difficult to shift our perspective. Believe me, I woke up many mornings wishing it was already nighttime so I could go right back to sleep to avoid the pain. Luckily, I have been practicing gratitude and acceptance for years, knowing it has helped me through similar challenging times. Don’t be too hard on yourself when acceptance and gratitude doesn’t always work. It’s a tool you can use to help you whether the storm but if you need to do some retail therapy or drink a glass of wine to make you feel better, go for it, I’m definitely not judging you ; )
· Perspective
Everything is about perspective. Two people can look at the same thing but experience it differently. A few weeks ago, when I was at work, consumed by the pain and feeling sorry for myself, I complained to my coworker Brian. I asked him: “Why did the universe decide to inflict me with so much pain?” Brian simply said “It’s supposed to change your perspective,” which planted the seed for this blog post…..thank you Brian : )
No wonder many great thinkers have written about perspective. It’s a powerful tool to change your outlook on life and help you become aware of the possible if the impossible threatens to drown you.
“Sometimes, a change of perspective is all it takes to see the light” (Dan Brown)
· Trust the Universe
This is easier said than done. If the universe has a plan for me, shouldn’t I be sitting on the porch of my cozy log cabin, looking at the beautiful night sky, sipping on my Riesling, pain-free, and writing a Bestseller novel? Well, life is not linear, which means it has unexpected turns, sometimes setbacks, and lots of roadblocks. Does that mean we shouldn’t trust that the universe has a plan for us? I think this is for you to decide. I find it more comforting to believe that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason takes a long time to crystallize itself.
· Self-reflection
When you are forced to sit on the couch and rest, you have nothing but time to think. Instead of letting your thoughts spiral down into the abyss of darkness, you can reflect upon the experience and figure out how it can help you grow….or distract yourself binge- watching Netflix ; ) The choice is yours!
Whether you are experiencing emotional or physical pain, please don’t lose hope and joy for life. I know the despair you are feeling, but I believe you will make it through the darkness and emerge stronger than you were before.
Use the pain for self-reflection, self-care, to count your blessings, to pause and focus on what’s really important.
Sometimes we need pain to remind us NOT to take things for granted.
“This too shall pass!” ; )
I’m sending you lots of healing vibes : )
