Empty nest - How can we make the next chapter more meaningful
When my daughter was younger she would listen to my stories traveling around the world before I became a mom, which awoke her own desire for adventures. I knew she would spread her wings and discover the world as soon as she would be old enough. During her junior year in high school she was talking about going to college in a different state or even country. She grew up so fast that I couldn’t believe she would be leaving the house in a year down the road. I started worrying about what life might be after raising a child. I imagined an empty house would leave me with no more purpose in my life. When the day came to drop of my daughter at college (luckily, she chose to stay in the same country) I was devastated, but I didn’t show my emotions because I didn’t want to ruin my daughter’s new adventure. On the drive back home I had eleven hours in the car to contemplate what life will look like as an empty nester. I miss my daughter very much but I have embraced this new chapter of my life, which is full of possibilities. If you are currently struggling with empty nest sadness, loss of purpose, or even depression, I feel your pain, but I believe that your life can still be meaningful and exciting. Here are some of the things you can do to make your next chapter more meaningful.
Worry less
Not worrying about your child is easier said than done, but the constant worry can make you physically sick. Also, showing your child that you constantly worry about them can be a burden on them. Trust that you have given your child the tools he or she needs to survive in the real world. Your child will feel much better about the new journey if he or she doesn’t have to worry about you. Your child is excited about his or her new adventure; be excited for them, but also start getting excited about the next chapter in your life.
Remember, you had a life before your child/ren
Do you still remember the life you had before you became a parent? Being a parent is one of our biggest, and most meaningful, life roles; so, it’s no wonder that we feel devastated when we are no longer needed in that role. Just like an actor plays different roles we can choose to be play any role we want; our life is not defined by one role only. You are the author of your next chapter. Be curious, imagine new possibilities, stay open-minded, and re-discover your old self.
What were some of the things you sacrificed?
Being a parent comes with a lot of beautiful moments, but it also comes with sacrifices, such as not having enough time for friends or hobbies. What were some of the things you missed while raising your kid/s? Maybe you used to enjoy creative hobbies or going to concerts with your friends. Or it could be something simple such as pampering yourself, getting a massage, or taking a bubble bath. Think about the things you enjoyed doing by yourself, with your partner, or with friends. Pencil fun activities into your calendar, learn to be spontaneous again, re-connect with old friends, re-decorate your house, plan your dream vacation, make a bucket list, date your partner again, join a book club, go on a road trip with your friends, take an art class, go camping, or learn to play an instrument. The possibilities to make life exciting and fun are endless.
